funny response to are you still alive
The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! 7. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. 26. Youre worse. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. (Say it like he or. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Chuck Bass? I'm loved! I agree, thanks for sharing. (bonus points to you if you sing it). How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. 54. How do you want me to be? You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. 62. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. I just adore my own company. (Use a sexy tone). Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. 27. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. How did you get here? Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Because youre highly qualified. Im always there when I need me. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Sounds like effort to me. I dont think youre stupid. Steven Wright (comedian). 3. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. 59. 71. Shane from The L Word? Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. Financially? 2. I havent met the right one yet. Reply. You're the reason God created the middle finger. I only fall in love with anime characters. [*clap your hands*]. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". You were a young man when you last spoke. Im too expensive. Im in a relationship with myself. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. I'm fine. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. 4. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Learn more about us here. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. - Anonymous. Is it your job to spread ignorance? But half the time, it is a nightmare. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. but it's just so blunt and funny. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. 101. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. 65. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. No, waitIm actually plural. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. Now you can be! 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. 1. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Were already married, remember?! 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. Funny as phuck. 1. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! . The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. 51. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Thats why Im single. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Life is up to something. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. . I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. 94. 13. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Moving in with Roommates? Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. *sips wine/tea*. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. I'm wondering how you are. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. You dont need to say it. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? This one is funny when you havent said anything. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. The answer is simple. 14. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. Being single is much better than being married. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. 41. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. My bad, its just your mouth. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. 97. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. 16. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. 90. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. 14. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. 92. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Are those space pants? He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. . 4. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. 28. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. 77. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. You have an old soul. It must have been a long, lonely journey. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Going strong. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. 3. 10. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Now I have a much lower opinion of you. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. What's your sign? Im single by choice. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? 2. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Maybe I am a kindergartner? You just live. My grandfather had a ton of these. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. I cant really complain, but I will still try. You want to make them laugh, not yell. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. 64. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Congrats, guys! You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Dont wake me up yet. Why do you ask? 73. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. But it can be funny. 9. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. 76. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Stop asking me why Im single! The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. 4. Read more about Martin here. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Required fields are marked *. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. I favour the "How am I what?" When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. - Anonymous. I am not sure what you mean. Impressive! Thank you, it made my day. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. 1. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? We cant always get what we want now, can we? What do you say when people ask you that? Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? still alive 810 GIFs. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. 1. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. I think I am doing alright. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. 15. *Siri activates front camera*. 30. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 1. You should really come with a warning label. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! So much better than most people. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. "Yeah, you're three years late. 2. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. "Hey You, I'm really good. Nice outfit. The government? I'm afraid I can't do that. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok 69. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. 35. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 50. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Privacy Policy. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Me being single is just a conspiracy!
