funny responses to what are you doing this weekend
Take care of your boundaries! YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THIS VIDEO. Like I also find whatre you doing this weekend to be pretty normal but also can feel very intrusive, but if I had people in my life like the LWs who were using it to try to make me do things I didnt want to do while making it seem like they were not making me do things itd get to be a really irritating and hair-trigger question pretty fast. Ah. Answer with small truths. single. There were SO many helpful suggestions in here. I find that are you doing anything interesting this weekend? can come across as less pressuring than what are you doing this weekend? Not only does it focus the question onto peoples hobbies/interests, but the answer no, not really doesnt automatically mean that someone is free. Im relearning advanced math as an adult because it seems fun and Im bitter that I grew up in an atmosphere that discouraged me from learning. What are the usual scripts? I saved up enough to move out. Nothing much? and Im like yup and get back to work.) How are you? In the age of smartphones I also often find that my calendar is inside the device Im holding up to my ear In theory I could ask them to pause the conversation while I check the calendar, but I havent yet found a script to actually get them to stop talking while I do that. Follow. Im struggling not so much w/ her being at home as I am w/ my worries about her, and with trying to decide whats the best thing for me to doapply pressure? Jumping from Are you doing anything on the 3rd? to I need to know if youre coming on the 3rd so I know how many pies to bake! would be really confusing. Giving my turtle a haircut. Nobody ever catches the other out (you said you were fine!) because the dance must be done. Open your mouth and close your eyes andhold on, it got away., (1) Want to have dinner sometime? But you, yours steals the show every time. . I honestly dont know how young people are functioning as well as they are, given that. ), its pure formula. You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course. Thanks! 3. You can change "because you have kids" to a variety of things, depending on whom you're talking to. Ive seen too many nightmare scenarios of late, in the wake of the Aziz Ansari mess, that start out exactly like you are describing. While having to put up with gday, mate lacks the structural oppression of whats aimed at POC, it is still annoying. (This one will definitely keep them guessing.) It can mean I want to make plans if youre freewhich, for me at least, isnt so much plan it for me as planning is hard, lets establish if theres even an open time slot before we nail down the details. My parents and my in-laws have requests that my husband and I dont feel we can refuse. I can tell you out of personal experience that the constant repetition of this makes you feel a lot like you will never be fully accepted as part of the society/community you live in. Maybe shorter comments go through immediately but longer ones need mod-approval? This auto-reply is just to let you know. 2. I think people are missing the fact that LW is talking about some instances of this running down lines of power and dominance, which is why this is such a problem. These people arent trying to gotcha! Any event. I went to a lot of meetings I did not want to go because of this, cause I pretty much was cornered into it after admitting I have not set plans.. But I like to think that Im better at saying no now, even though people do sometimes react badly. 126 followers. Yes, this. I've Tried, but No One Listens Hopefully Not as Good as I'll Ever Be If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me Okay. Wake up late Sunday morning and go ride or play in the mud. I guess I run with a very specific social crowd and it hasnt occurred to me in a while that its not always doable to say Im going to do CRAFTS ALONE, its going to be awesome. But I used to be in a grad program where people were super competitive, and if I said oh my god Im going to stay in this weekend, Im so peopled-out people would be lowkey mean about how I wasnt networking/studying/running charity marathons enough. I was surprised what a relief it was to move to a completely different part of the country where I at least have the option of blending in. Ive heard its a very Southern California thing and that people from other places are annoyed by it. ), (4) I just found a salamander, can I put it in your mouth?. I ask that question so I wont impose myself on someone by asking them to do something if they already have plans. Thats just how some people ask I suppose. The LW is getting socially trapped, and needs a selection of answers that are vague while also claiming her right to her time. Just wow. This meme will hilarious remind them. In these cases, we are all just curious and looking for stuff to talk about. Why? I cant see into the future and neither can the people in my life. You're very welcome. If you're worried your co-workers or boss will assume you need more to do if you don't talk about your heavy workload, go for this response. Ive seen cat vacuuming most often as being what you do before you can sit down to write. I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. Its not an actual request for information, its a greeting and acknowledgement of each others existence. Eating. They dont ask if you want to do the thing and then you are able to tell them (and if you were busy, youd probably mention that when declining). I like why do you ask? as a pre-programmed autoresponse, because it leaves room for them to stay, just wondering if you have fun plans, or making conversation.. Here's a more thorough list of things Siri manages to do well most of the time: Making a call / Facetime. It gets exhausting dealing with Got any plans this weekend? starting on Wednesday and then What did you do this weekend? again on Monday. In fact there the joke of cant do that, I have to.. (silly excuse of having plans like go wash my hair) that day illustrating that sometimes the white lie of making up plans is an easy way to get out of doing something. Published April 10, 2020 "How are you doing right now?" That's the question I've been defaulting to on the phone, over text, and over Zoom chats during this time of ballooning,. Nobody seems to be doing well by this arrangement. heres what i dont get: why would it be a problem, in the scenario youve given, to say, eh, i wish, but im swamped this week, shitYXZs been happening, ill ping you next week tho. Feeding a giraffe. Personally what works for me to feel non-imposed-upon is for someone to either tell me I have time to think about it, say hey if you cant I understand or similar, and generally act like they care about my opinions, feelings, and consent. Theres an important underlying truth here that I think we all have trouble with: We are not required to answer every question put to us. I tell her every chance I get that Im grateful for all the emotional labor she does with categorizing her friend groups. Or only if you consider it important? 2. You just reminded me of the ex-husband of a friend I used to know. I kind of resent that you assume I will tell you.. Then, actually do check your calendar, check in with yourself if you actually want to do whatever it is, and answer the person when its convenient for you. Sometimes my kids and I need that to be family time, so were going to block that out going forward., one of those people who force you to be blunt., Indeed, do say to her: Im going to ask you guys to walk to school on your own; trying to coordinate with your family is simply too much stress for us. I immediately turn it around on them. Why insist on these parental avenues of control and dominance over another adult, when it has already harmed your relationship and can only do more harm? Id like to do a bit better with my own kids. Especially since they explicitly mention friends, relatives, and people on dating sites. Its been pretty good policy.) Them no problem, I hope things are going well for you. Wondering why you're in here. Me:why? 1. BUT! Them (if it was an invitation prequel) would Thursday at noon work for you?, Them We need to have lunch soon ' If you ' re studying, doing homework or anything else you deem daunting, this is a great text to send your crush. 4) "When asked what I did over the weekend, I reply, 'Why, what did you hear?'" 5) And it's weekend memes baby!!! Ive noticed that sometimes when coworkers as me what Im doing theyre really just politely trying to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell me all about their exciting weekend plans. Id rather know the thing up front so I can answer it directlyare you free without telling me the activity feels like a setup. This relationship goes both ways. (Right Now): What are you doing sometimes means at the very present in which activity are you involved in? Except LW specifically said that with the peer-friends who are not using it as entrapment, LW doesnt find it problematic at all. It seems to me to have grown somehow out of how do you do, to which the appropriate response was, of course, how do you do. Just treating it as a question of not disclosing/being private is entirely the wrong approach. No matter how old you are, you don't want to be badgered about your life choices. My belief is that its easier to layer politeness onto a firm foundation of self-aware no than it is to find no after being trained to be obliging. After reading comments, Ive come to the conclusion that Ive over-generalized my preference (anxiety? Unless your friends are kind of jerks they wont interrogate you about your exact schedule. I dont know whether youre being too thoughtful or not thoughtful enough here. The mental stress is the same whether you interrupt a current rest period or interrupt the chance to get there before it before it starts. Sometimes people respond in a very vague way (oh just some family stuff), which will tell me that its private or they just dont want to discuss it with me and Ill drop it and switch topics. Enjoying life and nothing else. And they come up organicallyI dont invent them just to make her jump through hoops. "Thank you, I appreciate that.". I still have the same question of why do this? Id also add that when youve lived in a place for years and are planning to stay, like I am in my husbands home country, it gets very tiring to have everyone assume youre just visiting or that youre an international student and will be gone soon. Flying in a rocket ship. Tucker makes the case that there is a war against Christians happening in America on 'Tucker Carlson Tonight:' TUCKER CARLSON: You always imagine in your mind's eye that it's evil men who destroy . It could trick your family members into thinking that you actually have your life together. How am I right now? A lot of the people old enough to have adult children at this point still put phone communication on some kind of pinnacle in their minds, because thats what they grew up with. Im also self employed and use a similar excuse. I automatically ask this without thinking about it pretty often. This might just be a difference in communication styles. You absolutely can. And suddenly many things became clear. When I am planning an event I usually offer a description of what I have planned first and then we move to scheduling but most of that is done in social media or by e-mail these days. I usually end up saying something noncommittal like I might be doing xyz, but Im not sure yet why? and waiting to see what the actual deal is. Id like to leave you with a couple of last thoughts to consider: One is that you say she has reacted to, We are going to by hearing a command and responding accordingly. K- keep a distance from work. Honestly, about 90% of *soft* invitations to me fall flatly to the ground because I dont pick up the work of planning, timing and reissuing that invitation. Just how I like it :). Have a very happy weekend! I feel like letting her sleep is far more important than my social life right now., Sorry, I know it sounds like a stupid excuse. Catching up on sleep, doing chores, spending time with my partner. I think part of it, too, is that I have mental health issues and physical issues so sometimes the questions make me feel pressured to have a good weekend. So, when I do this I really am trying to get a feel for whether a busy people-pleaser like my Sis actually has time to do something on Saturday, rather than outright asking from the start and leading to her twisting herself into a pretzel trying to free up that specific block of time for me because she doesnt want to say no, Reading the LWs feelings about this situation and the comments, I can totally understand why someone would hate being asked in this way and why it might make it harder for some people to refuse something they dont want to do after theyve said theyre free, but Im still not quite sure what the solution is when dealing with someone who usually *does* seem to treat invitations as subpoenas. But sometimes its manipulative, as LW also said. 8. Reluctant runners just need a nudge. This is a great one because it invites the other person to tell you something that they want to share. If its as specific as Thursday, thats true, but I find when its a larger stretch like the weekend or the holidays its just as likely to be an attempt to get to know you and learn about your hobbies, interests, routine, etc, and find out if you have anything in common/have a life they find interesting/etc. If I had a tail, I would wag it! I used to get caught by this question. 13 "It was so relaxing. And partly because, depending on exactly what one wants and what cost one is willing to pay, challenging the culture is how it gets changed. Obviously Im talking here about people Im friendly with, not friend-friends, but I cant imagine having got to the stage of being friends with someone who was inclined to rebuff me expressing interest in their life. I want to ask you to help me with a project tonight. Me: Nope. Them : Ah, then Ill get back to you (They never get back to you). You would think, right? I expect either Oh were going to see New Movie/having a picnic/running errands or I dunno, usually followed by how about you? Its a low pressure small talk question, most of the time. 04 Mar 2023 17:27:26 I think you nailed it with that last bit, to an epic degree. Lets just say there were a few comments along the lines of look, if this Pampered Chef isnt your personal yaoi cup of tea, thats fine, but do you have to be so judgy about what your friends into?, Exactly! men. We teach children that they must answer questions put to them by adults, that they have no choice in the matter. If it is in fact a lead up to an invitation or request I can always either find room for it or say I dont have time. There was definitely conflict where trying to balance and figure out fairness, safety, and compassion were difficult and sometimes heated. My introvert self doesnt like last-minute extroverting.). 1) Let the weekend memes begin! (I know that I dont want to is in fact a perfectly valid excuse. Oh, such discerning eyes. But in the age of smart phones I also find Im going to have to check my email before I say yes to that, so let me get back to you helpful. What a mess. Or at least, it will be seen as rude by many people that I know and had had this conversation with. Me: Nope. I am a Guess person, and that is not going to change (and I often feel annoyed at people who seem to think that it shouldmy brain wiring is okay, too! Message Example #6: ( Note: A long message like this example is a better fit for dating sites like Match, OkCupid or POF. Agreed I dont think that the question signals the other person should do all the planning, i think its a way to judge how willing and able they are to hang out sometime in the immediate future. The kind of situation where someone finds out you are free that evening and then says, Good! I completely get anything to do with joint maintenance of shared space responsibilities for shared spaces need to be clearly shared out and individuals need to do their share. Am I? Ok so Ive been wanting to go to this play, I was thinking of going to the Friday night show or the Saturday matinee, would you be interested in one of those dates?. What are you up to? for those I am not interested in carving out space for.). Three-day weekends would be perfect if they were just four days longer. Funny Responses To What Are You Doing Actively waiting for my problems to go away. Its great that you can come!. Why? This realization makes me like Tuesdays more.) LW, I forgot the part where you said some of this is coming from people youre chatting to on dating websites, and you feel like its an attempt to get you to plan the date. I"m not done loving you!" 7) "It's Friday bitches!! ), You can also be very vague, but leave the door open for follow-up if you want to share. Examples include: I'm so glad you reached out to me! "Weekends are days to refuel your soul and to be grateful for the blessings that you have." - Anonymous 2. Example: What are you doing? This business of judging what another adult does with their leisure hours (with the obvious caveat that they harm no one) is bad enough, but insisting on the right to interrupt that time to set another adult extra chores is unreasonable in most circumstances, and not good for anybody. Since "doing" is an action verb, we need to use the adverb "well" to describe that action. The Captains advice is great. Me: Fine, thanks. Brief excerpts (<250 words) may be shared with attribution & a link to the original post. Sometimes, answering a question with a question is the best strategy. Saying no at that point feels rude, and yeah some people have reacted badly. Which has been said in other comments and is important enough to say again. And when I say angling, it might not be in a cornering way. its differential equations, 2. What are you up to on Saturday? has often been my go-to when dealing with someone (like my sister) that I *know* will feel pressured to accept whatever Im suggesting whether or not she wants to or has the time/energy for it.
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