my husband is driving my daughter away

I think it still disappoints him that I dont enjoy it, and havent watched it all. But, of course, that would require HIM to take an interest in something his daughter likes in order to find that common ground. When I surprised her with it, she told me that we dont have any friends and why would I think that shed want to waste a whole weekend in some hotel when we could be painting the bedroom and actually accomplishing something. So theres no harm in him humoring her while it lasts (& for gods sake, letting her play a couple One Direction songs or whatever in the car). If the later is the case, I would seriously consider whether or not husband wants to change and work on himself and if not, I would maybe get out. Spyglassez Oh and shes also going hiking with her dad this weekend because I told her to suck it up and get her ass in gear and tell her dad she wants to go, oh and shes also taking spinning classes with him this fall because her size 0 ass isnt gonna last forever with the way she eats spaghetti since she shares my DNA. Yeah, ditching a piano recital where the child is performing a talent or whatever is different from rolling your eyes at a TV show they like. I mean, people always try to paint themselves in the best possible light and their opponent in the worst. The first theory is that her husband is jealous of the close relationship she has with their daughter. Well, I feel like I may offer a different perspective on this. Youre bonding with your daughter at the expense of the relationship with your husband. The conflict between your husband and daughter is bound to happen. How can I tell my husband he's a terrible driver? Be her parent and let her friends be her friends. I didnt get the sense that the LW is only liking or disliking things to get closer to her daughter. One teenager in the house is bad enough But TWO must be exhausting. I get that hes probably feeling left out, but thats not cool. You became a drudge, in spite of him being a great guy and loving you madlybecause. Anyway, a person shouldnt be forced to read something they find boring, but I think that its reasonable for the dad to try to encourage that so that she grows up knowing theres stuff outside of her pop culture interests. I loved how proud and impressed he was when I got the answer right, or parroted back some of his trivia. Im not sure why people think it makes you a bad parent to tell your kid that you dont enjoy some of the same stuff they enjoy and that they can do that when you arent around. I was able to read teen magazines but they made sure it was balanced. However, now as an adult, he appreciates my intelligence and how much thought and research I put into topics, even if we dont agree. The dad is setting the tone for the relationship here and it is one of disrespect for anything that isnt your own interest and his daughter is probably picking up that attitude and acting in a reciprocal way. Im still mad at my parents for allowing me to grow up without listening to Led Zeppelin. I really think that both your daughter and husband need to learn compromise and I think you are in the very best position to teach this. Intelligent people can like these things but does that mean that a father should promote them? She may come to appreciate some of her dads interests in time, but I hardly think forcing them down her throat is a good way to do that. But it isnt you guys against him. I have to agree. Ha! Theres no reason why reading books and an interest in musicals and playing music make someone uninformed, one persons preference for geography over literature doesnt make them more informed than the other one! How Do You Resolve Conflict Between Your husband And Daughter? My personal relationship with my dad was almost non-existent when I was a tween/early teen, except for those forced family moments. Hed come out and hit the ball or play catch or Horse. July 2, 2013, 12:42 pm. The LWs husband sounds like my father. But when I turned my attention towards nurturing my marriage, even though the kids got less attention, they started feeling more secure. Its a source of strength, comfort, and love. My plan is to lock mine in the basement and bribe her into going to a local college. I think she should have given more advice for the LW about dealing with the husband and his responses to the daughter. THIS. BtVS not mature and intelligent? I tried to go fishing with my dad a few times when I was younger and it was the most boring thing on the planet. Help her see the best side of her dad, even if hes sometimes making it difficult. Seriously, have you heard their new stuff? I dont care if he thinks her shows are boring his wife and daughter deserve respect. The way he is reminds me of my dad who, when I was growing up, if I was doing something HE didnt see the value in like I was watching the wrong shows on TV (GARBAGE, hed call it), for example would force me to turn it off. lets_be_honest Beware of These 5 Ways You May Unintentionally Push Your Man Away You also need to encourage your husband to be respectful of his daughters interests. For every outing he chooses and she doesnt like, they should also choose something together that they can both enjoy (for example, shes into Star Trek and hes into science, so go to a space museum). MAY THEY DIE IN LOTS OF FIRES. Id love to tell you about the things I like. Shes a kid, with a kids sense of fairness, so that would probably be a good compromise, because right now, hes asking her to do all the changing. No. It also says the father is critical about her lack of competitiveness, initiative, and how she is uninformed. It is definitely a good idea for the LW to lead her daughter by example by showing an interest in Dads interests and even suggesting an outing that he would like or that all of them would enjoy. Asshole My son had his wedding days ago. I wouldnt say they are musical magicians or anything, but they can still put on a good show. Fruits and veggies are healthier than potato chips thats a fact. Addressing issues with the person whos causing the problem is just a good habit to get into, you know? And my dad is a veritable warehouse of rocknroll trivia when a new song came on, hed often share a fact he knew about the band (Did you know Rush is a three-person band, and that the bassist is the lead singer?), or tell us about a concert he went to in his youth (hes been on stage with Ozzy, yall, close enough to see the O-Z-Z-Y tattooed across his knuckles), or quiz me and my brother to see if we knew who the band was or what the song was. Really truly. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_18',131,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_19',131,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0_1');.mobile-leaderboard-2-multi-131{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}However, when conflict arises between a parent and child, it can be even more difficult to resolve. Or if shes interested in other fantasy series (ex. (I remember one long drive when i was little where we ran out of all other cds and they suffered through it for a little while and I was happy as a clam, but eventually they couldnt deal with it anymore). And my dad is so crazy into going to my games Walter said he was yelling his head off at the last one. He's clearly not interested in her and I don't want to look stupid when I ask him. Just because you dont like Buffy and have introduced a bunch of facts that dont exist in the letter (your comment below about what the dad has been putting up with for years!?!) You can look at him as a mean bully, like you do, or an involved father who is trying to raise a well rounded child. If youre experiencing any of these issues in your marriage, its important to talk to your daughter about how youre feeling and why youve decided to stay in the relationship despite being unhappy. He's just as cool and aloof with me these days and I'm not sure how I feel about him anymore. Husband to Disabled Wife: Let Our Son Pick You Up, You're the Only One My parents eventually got divorced, and I actually think without that, I might not have such a good relationship with my father (who I am much more like as an adult than my mother) or the family on his side, because of how my mom made it us against him when I was little. bittergaymark lets_be_honest Or are they just not able to love without losing themselves? And I got into the Beatles at a VERY young age I used to listen to cassette tapes before I fell asleep, but got bored with the same-old Sesame Street and Little Mermaid, so I asked them for something new. Listen, this dad sounds exactly like my dad when I was 12, down to insisting I be more competitive, and why cant I play sports, and so on. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? July 2, 2013, 11:13 am. From Voyager, for some odd reason, The Q and the Grey really struck a chord with me and actually made me challenge all of my beliefs regarding what is beyond humanity. Within a year of this, my dad became abusive. The wife should be supportive of his efforts, but he needs to act like a grown man and stop being so selfish. And whenever I caught a fish, my dad was the one to do all the gross work to deal with it. Ive definitely think Ive learned more from my daughter than shes learned from me. FOR the past four months, my friend has been chasing a guy at college. Losing the . Shes all the better for it. TONS of teenagers are interested in Buffy, Firefly, and (new) Star Trek. My Dad and I had similar interests so it was real easy to build a relationship with him with my sister not so much, he didnt know how to relate to her as she had all the same interests as my mother. July 2, 2013, 11:17 am, Skyblossom July 2, 2013, 11:03 am, I think what needs to be addressed here is the the primary relationship in a familythe marriage. More of a this is silly than yall are stupid eye roll. Its like a circle of hell specifically for we of the ADHD. To me, I imagined them insisting on listening to Buffy podcasts in the car Something that would make me either toss the ipod out the window or leave certain people at the curb, painted_lady Im sure its frustrating for him, I just think hes reacting in a jerk-ish way. I still find it hysterical that they incorporated a rivalry between Tim and Bob Vila in that show. Its not cool that Dad is rolling his eyes at his daughters interests and hobbies. Theyve Seen Firsthand How Unhappy Their Parents Are, 3. Does he like the 80s music? I think dad is being a bully. AITA for saying my husband's ex is interfering? When you think you know what to expect or how to deal with them, they change the rules, seemingly arbitrarily. Well, how nice for you that your 12-year-old daughter is interested in all the same things youre interested in! He is, however, driven and self-reliant. I was closer to my mom, and even closer with my friends in the neighborhood. You know at the beginning of the last indiana jones movie where indie comes running home and needs to ask his dad something but his dad makes him count to 10 in latin? Yes. So as a clearly NOT fan girl, its pretty good! As a counterpoint, I loved all the things my dad liked and he tried to do things I liked. Learning about give and take in a relationship is very important for a 12 year old (who can often be very self-centered at that age) to know. Of course its going to drive her away from him. Husband treats 15 year old step son badly : r/Advice No. So how did she find out about it? No, it may not be the precise thing hes interested in, but you cant just share an interest with someone by demanding it. Wed do something hed want to do (touring a waste water treatment plant seriously), and then wed do something I wanted to do a couple weeks later (he took me to see Rent when I was 13!). I think its great that he invites her and wants to share his interests with her. Entirely too much. We were so thrilled. At a certain point you just have to laugh at all the differences and enjoy the fact that the other person is having a good time! Theres nothing wrong with mindless pop culture, imo, so long as its balanced with things opposite that. She may not have attended every softball game, but she never missed a dance recital or play, and always made sure I had a clean uniform for those softball games and a snack to take with me. Making your kids do shit they dont necessarily like a lot is just life. Hilary Duff has always come clean about her parenting journey over the years. Here are 16 ways husbands can unintentionally push their daughters away: It can be difficult to maintain a good relationship between your husband and your daughter, but there are a few things you can do to help. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding, How a Stronger Body Can Transform Your Identity, Two Questions to Help You Spot a Clingy Partner-to-Be. These were followed up by hours and hours of This Old House, which we were required to sit through for family time but we werent allowed to speak at all during the show, lest my father miss something. I know I did. , temperance Did we always get along? He even told me the next day that he was the luckiest guy in the world. It can be tough sometimes, and obviously a lot funner to be the friend than the parent. Im also coming from a place where I 100% agree with Wendy that her interests could also change next month or next year so its more about tone/approach/attitude than actual activities. About Us . He leaves at 5:00 a.m. every morning to support me and our children. I definitely DONT think my experience and this familys are similar. What to do? Hubby drives drunk with our kids! - today.com Also, at what point does the LW start to teach her daughter that she should stand up for herself and her interests hate to think about the precedent being set that we must always cowtow to the man of the house.

San Joaquin County Superior Court Remote Appearance, Dfw National Cemetery Grave Finder, Articles M