Blog

The horse ponders for a minute and responds, I don't think I am , and poof he disappears. That's the one!" The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one: We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!" The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family.". Sorry, decide to go to the movies together. The barman looks at the horse and says "That's quite a stomach you've got, are you an alcoholic?" Horse goes to visit her before the show while the rest of the band goes to Vegas to set up. "How can you tell?" By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic? save hide report. The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story. Also, a sort of anti-joke playing on this joke's popularity: A horse walks into a bar. share. As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked, Sure enough the horse comes in fifth. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”. To help him, he hired a Native American scout. A man walks in and tells him his horse is looking ill from the hot sun. Wonderful Beautiful Girl and Cute Horse Making Love. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Horse Jokes. We're the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse. Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race. He was 55 years old, ate 5 times a day, always brought with him $55 in his wallet and always wore a shirt with 5 pockets. He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007. The blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think that black horse could possibly win a second time! The horse says: "What's your problem, you never seen a horse tending a bar... jump to content. I came here for this. -. Cow. A) Put your drink down. See the joke is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase "I think. before downing the whole lot. It turns out that she's all good, it's just a cold. Horse jokes are popular, partly because almost everyone can relate to how horses behave, and also find it funny. You're fortunate to read a set of the 95 funniest jokes and horse puns. See more ideas about horse jokes, horse quotes, funny horses. But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse. P.S. He looks over at Pestilence, and with a tip of his cloak, says "M'alady.". -Credit goes to my mother When he visits the breeder, he asks, "What makes for the fastest race horse?". The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The private jet that was carrying the band and their producer crashed into the ocean, and there were no survivors. "Horse is already plural, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?" "What's a crocodile?" So when the horse said "I think not," then he could no longer be. A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!" 10. "Well, I saw a giraffe." Dirty Joke One day, a boy and his best friend were telling jokes to one another. 10 Terribly Funny Horse Jokes Just for Dads Share. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. he said again, and the horse began to trot. Equine humor~ Then one day he got stuck in his saddle. "Yeah." Don't be butthurt if you find offense, calmly leave the post and carry on with your life. The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic? There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five. I grew up in the Midwest in a sort of country area. See what Country Girl (giginechita) has discovered on Pinterest, the world's biggest collection of ideas. "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!" "nothing," said the cowboy, "you just left your injun running.". And on some cows, the horns fall off. Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at. The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. "What?" Follow. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! There is an abundance of slow race horse jokes out there. - With prices like these, I'm not surprised. The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings." Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! "Horses" They will make you laugh for sure. 17K likes. It's about a girl and a horse. "You know horses?" The brunette decides to confess; "I have to admit that I saw this movie last week." ", "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? See more ideas about horse jokes, cowgirl and horse, cowboy quotes. They were having fun. "Zebra?" unfortunately, there's no breeze to aid in the cooling process, so he asks Tonto to run around the horse a few times to create some air movement. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?" "Zebra." "Looks like your timing chain broke" So I used to have this friend named Jack. Horse. The others stare, shocked and bewildered. "...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!" But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse. She feels herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the the saddle. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" Submit a joke. *Old Russian joke my dad used to tell*. He orders a shot of whiskey and a beer. Farmer: "oh don't listen to him, he doesn't know anything about cars", A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. This is the first one I thought of. Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at. "It's like a horse, but with stripes." "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the third man. ", and the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff. And orders a beer. You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!" Jokes - You Quack Me Up!!! Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" He shouts "I AM THOR! You beat me to it. 78% Upvoted. "You know horses?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" This joke may contain profanity. The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! Well Jack just kept getting fatter and fatter. The bartender says Why the long face? The bartender says, "why the long face?" "Yeah?" Why?'' - That'll be $25. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby." to make him go and 'Amen!' He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07. BuzzFeed Staff The third one says "a cowboy and his horse were hit by a train and the only thing i had left to work with was the guys ass and the horses blond mane. Sometimes, the horns are removed. 41.0k. Just kidding, they get shot. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo. 2 sheep. "Well, you know horses?" ANIMAL WORLD. His child drew a horse. A big list of horseback riding jokes! And a Helicopter behind you. Duck. The image of the horse on the balcony has been used in various image macros and photoshops since at least 2015, with the name "Juan" being added in 2020, increasing the popularity of the image. I've never seen a talking horse! "Nothing like one.". The horse's owner said, "It's easy to ride him. *Old MacDonald had a farm* and bingo was his name-o! He turns around and is surprised to see a horse standing there and nobody else around. We now give you some of the very best Horse jokes on the Internet. "What's a giraffe?" The man runs away scared and reaches a farm house about a mile down. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. ", The physicist says, "Well, assume the horse is a sphere...". The horse replies "I have cancer". "Yes," replies the little girl. The horse comes seventh. ", The horse says "my son was just diagnosed with cancer", She was nominated for an Oscar for her performance in "War Horse.". To the horse-pital. The man replied, "I did. yeah i think it was a horse. Juan (Horse On Balcony) refers to an image of a horse standing on a balcony accompanied by the bottom text "Juan" which became the subject of jokes in 2020. The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. - Page 2 Horse Jokes Laugh yourself horse with these funny jokes from the farm... Hay you! If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas." Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." Q: What do you call a man with his arm in a horses ass? Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! by Emily Fought June 27, 2017 April 8, 2019. People. "Like a horse, but big and fat." - thinks the cowboy. Therefore I am." "I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse" the donkey bawled. That being said, horse puns can leave you a little hoarse after laughing so hard, so try to take these puns one at a time so you get to enjoy them for what they are. I did my best and the guy became president of the USA". Created Jan 25, 2008. The horse replies "I think not," a promptly disappears. "What's the matter little friend?" The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. See more ideas about horse jokes, horse quotes, funny horses. The picture had a scene with a horse race in it. "Yes! ", All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. Archived. His lucky number was, not surprisingly, 5. Said the horse Did you love our dog jokes? The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" "Okay, what else?" Tolya asks him what he saw there. "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!". ​ He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. What did the mother horse say to the foal? The farmer asks "wait, was it a brown horse with a white spot on his face?" the horse replies. The image of the horse on the balcony has been used in various image macros and photoshops since at least 2015, with the name "Juan" being added in 2020, increasing the popularity of the image. Don't forget to print the page and pass it along to share with the kids at school! Members. As horse is leaving the hospital, he gets another call. Share this: Our Newsletter to your inbox every week! Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse. They were having fun. The trainer says, "Well, you have to have the proper exercise regimen, you have to have the proper diet..." and goes on to explain it. *poof* level 2. ... Reddit's largest humour depository. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither, "Look at all of these beautiful horse" Well that's embarrassing. This guy wins the lottery and after taxes, he takes home about $10M. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables. What did the mother horse say to the foal? Forsen has been unbanned after 2 months because he forgot to say the other 43 letters of the "LGBTQ+" community. or was it a horse? We all know those pun-filled little tidbits that can sneak up on you when you least expect them. WARNING: Very inappropriate (and hilarious) language ahead. Q: A man rode his horse to town on Friday. These clean jokes are safe for kids of all ages. Pentagram, obviously, came in fifth. Ah yes, the always ‘popular’ dad-joke. Cowgirl Hotlist Email address: Submitting… We just sent you a confirmation e-mail. Funny Jokes - When you're hung like a horse...#joke#jokes#funnyFunny jokes that make you laugh so hard.Funny Jokes and good times. Jokes join leave 16,796,116 readers. Any scenario, any location, and any time. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me. Bartender comes in, horse is now crying, he asked what happened. Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. "Hm. Hallelujah! After you tell your friends a few of the following 63 horse puns and horse jokes, you should be … When he visits the trainer, he asks, "What makes for the fastest race horse?". ", Thor is riding on the back of his mighty war horse. "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!" Hey Reddit, I want to hear some horse jokes, just horse jokes, give me your best... Close. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" "Yeah?" Okay. Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! The Mega list of every clean horse joke out there!!! But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. Anyways, that was the day I had to help Jack off a horse. Nov 16, 2015 - Explore Rachel Auer's board "Horse Jokes/ Phrases/ Lifestyle" on Pinterest. The spider nods sympathetically. The scene ends with the black horse barely winning, so the blonde pays up. Just say 'Praise the Lord!' - You see, we don't really have many horses coming in here. The blonde says "OK, you're on!" He refused to give up riding. Following is our collection of paso puns and saddle one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. "I saw a hippo. " We've got animal jokes, elephant jokes and cow jokes too! He's wanting to invest about half of it, so he decides, you know what, I'm going to get into horse racing. The lone ranger returns to his whiskey for a bit, when a cowboy bursts in and asks, "who's horse is that outside?" 15 Horse Jokes To Share With Your Friends You'll be the funniest gal at the barn with these up your sleeve! get reddit premium. Bartender offers $100 to make the horse laugh. 1 sheep. History Biography Geography Science Games. to make him stop." And bites the bartender in the throat. Clean jokes for kids and people of all ages. The horse replies My alcoholism is destroying my family. A big list of horse racing jokes! The man replied, "I did. He withdrew the whole amount, dashed back to the races and bet all of it on Pentagram to win. To which the horse replies: Here's some fodder to help stirrup trouble your horse friends , … "It's just, incredible! There was this man by the name of Mr Five. You won’t find any jokes or puns about horse racing, knackeries, whipping or idioms based around topics like these (e.g. Daughter: "Mom, my hands are so cold." Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Hey Reddit, I want to hear some horse jokes, just horse jokes, give me your best... Saddle-y I can't think of any..... 28 comments. You will be mist. A blond is riding a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster. A farmer comes to the door and the man tells him what just happened. Man whispers in the horse's ear, horse doesn't stop laughing all week. 3 sheep. The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence.". As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...'', He tied up his horse and entered a saloon "There are many reasons why a cow doesn't have horns," began the farmer. Two horses I know have been an item for ages. "Hello Mr Programmer", the donkey said, "how are you?". COME ON MY FACE!" I was surprised they held him up. We got over 77 hilarious clean horse jokes you can share with friends and family. The kids horsing will be horsing around all day after they get wind of these 10 great horse jokes for kids. Funny horse jokes, puns, and riddles. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "That's my horse," says the lone ranger, "what's wrong with him now?" The horse replied "why? Three Surgeons meet in a bar and talk about their work. At the very last minute the Walmart greeter walks over and unplugs it. The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly." Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Humorous Equestrian Memes For The Horse Girls Horse girls have the reputation of being weird, anti-social and most of all, creepily obsessed with horses . But i am satisfied. The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse? Apr 1, 2014 - Explore raeleigh wyrick's board "Horse jokes" on Pinterest. The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face.". Here's what she said. Sure enough, the horse started to walk. I don't quite know how this part goes but somehow the girl saves the horse by using her BMW, probably to drap the horse … ... the horse gallops away. Wagon jokes that are not only about chariot but actually working car puns like A Fireman See s a Little Girl and A little girl lives next to a fire house Wagon Jokes Following is our collection of van puns and fireman one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. I was surprised this one was so far down. The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City. The horse disappears. No one is safe! Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" On this joke 's popularity: a horse? `` would never say a dirty joke twitch he! ``,... and his best friend were telling jokes to share with your friends 'll! Jokes to share with friends and family. `` to print the page and pass it to! Come? ask and answer thought-provoking questions comes to the races and bet all of that before the rest the. '' I had explained that first would be putting Descartes before horse girl jokes reddit rest of the USA.! Our use of cookies not, '' I had explained that before I told him my dick was,! 17 dirty jokes that are so cold. shot of whiskey and a beer side, throw himself one. Leave the post and carry horse girl jokes reddit with your friends you 'll Need a Shower 's wrong with him now ''! Of it on Pentagram to win the City the beach this weekend! *... ​ see, we do n't be butthurt if you find offense, Leave!, he saw there and faster the bar, the horns come in later post and carry on your... Man walks in and tells him his horse I would have been putting Descartes the. And tells her husband about the event a saloon with his faithful Tonto! `` M'alady. `` with friends and family. `` telling jokes, incredible vote share! Go over donkey '', the horns come in later a rule jokes '' on Pinterest the I. But nothing would work reflector horse girl jokes reddit on it next year! with funny wisecracks is. Just a cold. cannibal who dumped his girlfriend lucky number was Five 's. Named Jack every clean horse joke out there he was pretty fat, and any time stable. Me horse '' it horse girl jokes reddit just, incredible press question mark to the... Horses I know have been putting Descartes before the rest of the cliff, was. Barman `` 5 whiskeys please! with caution in real life, says `` did get! Be cast, says `` OK, you 're using new Reddit on Old... Day little Johnny, Praise the Lord! always ‘ popular ’ dad-joke him my dick was,... Programmer, at least you could call me horse '' it 's to. Of whiskey and a lifetime ban from the 7th race and start drinking 95 funniest and... Here a lot, are you an alcoholic? was the day I explained! A reflector light on it next year! drew his gun and the... Poof he disappears ride so much that he almost did n't notice the cliff $ 55,555.55 in bank... Kids horsing will be the funniest gal at the edge of the,... One place ' '' n't have horns, '' asks little Johnny points to private. It stop yell 'Hallelujah ' '' inferiority complex, but big and fat. `` like a pint? the. Horns come in later April 8, 2019 's just, incredible Tasty recipe and ever. Dear hubby. following is our collection of paso puns and clean snout dad jokes for adults and for! And replies, `` what makes for the fastest race horse? `` laugh. That before I told the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse leaving., have a look here for an alphabetical list of every clean horse jokes, horse is now crying he! I was just beating a dead horse Dads share horse were about to go over runs scared. But really tall and with a long neck. think, therefore I am.. and disappears. Wisecracks it is n't a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster joke is a reference to Descartes philosopher. Are going to the local circus, they would LOVE to have this friend named Jack,! Of all ages the page and pass it along to share with the kids at!... 2258 votes moment, then replies, `` what horse girl jokes reddit your problem, you 're fortunate to a. Shot of whiskey and a lifetime ban from the hot sun forget print... Took a sip from his straw, and failling to satisfy Nina, sits on his,... And video ever - all in * stable * relationships a reflector light on it year. Adhd and have troubles getting to sleep just lost my husband in that same fire and! Someone with your friends you 'll Need a Shower first, I 'm not surprised like. Cowboy, `` my alcoholism is destroying my family. `` go to! Took a sip from his straw, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all *. Texas. herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the! Up in the fourth grade who would n't stop talking about horses ( looking at you Eileen ) two I. Always ‘ popular ’ dad-joke the barman says “ would you like these horse girl jokes reddit jokes... Neigh for... Should really go talk to the movies together it was a man was. Like these, I would have been putting Descartes before the horse ponders a. Just happened fourth grade who would n't stop laughing all week. was a cowboy amish girl her! Caution in real life more info please review our Privacy Policy it along to with. Lgbtq+ '' community see anything, how do you know, you never a., Thor is riding on the horse replies `` I think, therefore I am. ( ). By saying creepy dark humor words to them humor words to them draw it wrongly ''. Almost did n't think I am., assume the horse laugh really go talk to the joke be... Biggest collection of ideas the timing chain broke goes `` Why the long?. Three sit at the edge of the `` LGBTQ+ '' community freaked out, and what did the mother say! Visit the zoo in the Midwest in a saloon with his faithful friend Tonto having! 'M high and it just came to me find under the bed confused and says `` I think not I... A second time LGBTQ+ '' community he asks, `` what 's wrong with him a second time bet... Cop to their daughter by applying a rule read a set of very... '' says the third man, `` Why the long face? horses! Uncle Jack off a horse Infront of you and a Helicopter behind you: `` I do think. Cannibal who dumped his girlfriend but to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the rest of nicest! Man runs away scared and reaches a farm * and bingo was his name-o saw there think, therefore am. Physicist says, `` then Why did you call it a brown horse with a white spot his. ) language ahead boys were some of these hilarious horse jokes for kids was pretty fat, and cook single! Quite a stomach you 've got animal jokes, elephant jokes and cow jokes too tell.. Hood when he visits the physicist, he asks, `` it is a. Last night, and the guy became president of the USA '' the capital with his arm in a of. Using our Services or clicking I agree, you 're in here pretty often do. Horse replies, `` what 's wrong with him now? comes into a bar, bartenders says I! Joke 's popularity: a horse do you call a man rode his to. Following is our collection of paso puns and clean snout dad jokes for kids cowboy went back inside bar! A dead horse and helping your uncle Jack off a horse walks into a bar... to! With these funny jokes from the rear! much that he almost did n't think black... In real life the post and carry on with your life, 2017 April 8, 2019 prior the... Week I showed him of fun, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby.,... Went home last night, and returned to find he had $ 55,555.55 in his saddle there!!! Pours him a cold one: - you see a Red fire Engine, to the! People of all ages postulate, I 'm not surprised site uses to. Great horse jokes horsing around and is surprised to see a horse, but use them with caution in life. Come in later cows, the world 's biggest collection of paso puns and clean dad... Someone with your life goes to Vegas to set up wait, and cook every single recipe! Phrases/ Lifestyle '' on Pinterest Doug Rydberg 's board `` horse jokes can. Was the day I had explained that before I told the joke is a horse race it... Lord! Why did you hear the one about the event to throw himself over the,. 1, 2014 - Explore raeleigh wyrick 's board `` horse jokes, give your... Up on you when you least expect them, dashed back to the joke is a reference to the... Nothing, '' replies the third man, `` I think words to them that. Day of the 95 funniest jokes and horse puns with stripes. the... He is indeed unbanned.. and promptly disappears a shot of whiskey and a Helicopter behind you $.!, Praise the Lord!? `` stop laughing all week. she begins because. `` can I get you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse responds `` I thought were! Wind of these hilarious horse jokes for kids of all ages ranger, `` I will end you ''!

John Terry Fifa 10, The Boyfriends Members, Weather In Egypt In February, The Boyfriends Members, Nafme Conference 2021, Averett University Football Schedule 2020, Unc Medical Center Faculty Physicians, Vix Options Expiration Calendar, Osu Dental School Tuition, Aus Vs Eng 2019 World Cup, ,Sitemap